Clerks II :: Quote 1

Randal Graves: Open up and tell me shit. Like why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her pussy.
Pillow Pants is her pussy troll. Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young to keep them from having premarital sex?

Randal Graves: Sure.
Elias: Well, Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so, even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So I got to wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal Graves: And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff, Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have already, if it wasn't for Lister Fiend.
Randal Graves: Lister Fiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: Women.
Randal Graves: I'll be right back.

Randal Graves: You are never gonna believe what Elias just told me.

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